Squatty Potties

"That which does not kill you will make you stronger.". . . 

Try telling that to a seven-year-old staring down a squatter toilet for the first time. 

Previous to flying to Taiwan, I felt I needed to mentally prepare the kids for a number of unpleasant inevitabilities. Between not being able to drink or brush their teeth with the water out of the faucet, to coping with mosquitoes or cockroaches, the mental fear attached to public squatter toilets has loomed the largest.

Now, for those of you unfamiliar with a squatter toilet, Coco fulfills the role of Vanna here: 

That's right. . . The toilet lays flat on the floor, and in order to use it effectively you must indeed squat down low while your pants hang down around your ankles. Here I'm practicing proper technique with the kids before actually using the toilet:


For those of you who feel this is too graphic, I apologize. It just provides necessary background for the kids' anxiety. Truth is, I still remember the first time I was confronted with one of these Asian contraptions. It was only a couple weeks into my time on the island and my companion and I had just finished a discussion in the far end of our area. We were headed back home via a long train ride, and right before our train came, I desperately needed a toilet. Heading into the public restroom I opened the stall and stared. How was I supposed to use that? But, as they say, necessity really is often the mother of invention, and I got through that one just fine. 
As a result, when Coco pleaded for a potty at the end of our grand tour of the kids' school (more on this later), I thought, "no time like the present," and made a beeline for the school restrooms.
You should have heard the protests.
"No, Mom, no!!! I do not want to go in there!"
"It stinks! I don't want to go in! It's too smelly!"

Finally, I turned around. "What are you going to do tomorrow when you have to use the bathroom? Do you really want to do in front of your classmates for the first time? They might just ask you afterwards why your pants are wet. Trust me, you'll want to try this the first time when no one else is in there, except your mom who can help you."


For Coco, Big-O, and Mr. Bitts, this was hard to argue with. In fact, the three of them got through this more or less without a hitch, smiling at the fact that it wasn't as bad as they thought it would be. Sassy, on the other had, was terrified. She and I sat behind the stall, while she sobbed inconsolably. 


"I can't do it!" she cried. "I do not want to use it!"
"Sass," I responded, "Look in my eyes. You're going to be ok. I know you've never used one of these, but I know you can do this. It's really not as bad as you think."
"No, no, no, no, no!" she insisted, while she shook her head wildly.
At this point, I got a bit tough with her. "We're not leaving this stall until you use this toilet. I have to know when I send you to school tomorrow that you can use it by yourself."
"I will!" she screamed, "But I don't want to do this right now!" 
After this carried on for several loud minutes, I finally resorted to bribery. "Sassy, if you can learn to use the squatters while we're in Taiwan, when we get back home to the states I will buy you Frozen when it comes out on DVD." . . . What did I just say? Ever since that movie came out, all our family has incessantly heard has been renditions of "Let it Go" ad nauseum. Essentially, this was a sign of my distress in that moment. Heaven help me. 
Fortunately, for Sassy this offer had the desired effect, and provided just enough bravery to try. While this attempt was not 100% successful, it was enough to prove she'd be able to hold her own later on. Here you can see her relief after having survived this harrowing moment. She literally had to be carried home. 


For me, I breathed a sigh of relief that we had gotten through something I'd worried about guiding them through successfully. It wasn't even 11:00 a.m. and I felt it had been a fruitful day. 
_______________________________________________
Postscript -- After this morning's tutorial, we were asked to lunch with an old friend of Li-ling's, and there the bathroom had only a lowly squatter available. Thankfully, the kids were now prepared to face this test, and did so without a hitch. On the way home, Coco held my hand and declared, "I like Taiwan squatty potties better than America potties. You don't even have to touch anything. I don't have to touch it with my hands. And I don't even have to touch it with my bum . . . I don't even have to touch it with my nose!" 
Enough said. :)